I chatted with him today or to be precise tonight. Not for long but even that 5 minutes chat was enough for me like a life saver. At least tonight I can sleep well; of course will dream about him only. After a long time I was experiencing peace of mind. I just hope I get it very often. I was never so thankful to technologies before. The things I can’t speak I can text to him or write on chat.

Tonight again I felt so badly that I should tell him how much I’m in love with him, how restless I feel when I don’t see him for days together, how many sleepless nights I’ve been through thinking about him, how I’m hiding all my pain from everyone and dying every second. How I wish I could say all that, how I wish he could understand that without me speaking a word, how I wish he could be all mine.

I did not. I wanted to but I didn’t tell him anything over chat. I don’t want to force him. You just can’t force anyone to love you. I want him to feel it the way I’m feeling for him, the way I’m dying for him. I’m just waiting for the days when he would call me for no reason and talk to me for hours together, I’m waiting for the nights when he won’t sleep until he wishes me good night, I’m waiting for the times which he would want to spend with me. I’m just hoping all these to happen. After all we all live with some hope.