Recently I happened to watch a video which is part of Ariel’s share the load campaign. It showed a working woman doing multitasking after coming home from hectic day while her husband is enjoying some match on TV and sipping on hot cup of coffee made by her. That left her father who had come to visit her thinking and feeling sorry that he did not teach his daughter that household work is not only “her” responsibility it’s equally her husband’s responsibility too. And before leaving he also assured that now on he will help her mother in household stuffs and set an example for others. He felt sorry on behalf of all the “Dads”.
Many of us might have witnessed such scenarios, sometimes we take our moms, sisters and wives so for granted that we don’t realize how much they are doing. And it’s not only applicable to working women but those who are full time home-makers too. We have been brought up in such environment where we tag few things as his responsibility and few things as hers.
When a man and a woman get married they are supposed to compliment each other and not take each other for granted.
While watching the video I remembered one incident of my childhood. I visited my bua’s place (paternal aunt) on the occasion of bhai-duj with my dad. It was a lunch time. My cousin brother took a broom and started cleaning the area before serving lunch. I immediately went ahead, took the broom from his hand and started cleaning. And I heard someone saying “what a good girl!” That time I felt nice. I felt as if I successfully passed in a test of being a good well-mannered girl. But now when I think over it I realized how easily we discriminate in our family itself. I wonder if it would have been my cousin sister doing that and had I taken the broom from her would it be the same? My brother was way older than me, still cleaning on his behalf made me a good girl, Why?
I have seen my dad helping my mom in household work even though my mom was full time house-maker. I have seen him doing so all my life, cleaning house, washing cloths, cooking when my mom isn’t well, going to market, teaching us and what not. Still it was so spontaneous for me to go ahead and take that broom from my brother. It’s not just how we are raised by our parents but it’s the whole society and it’s beliefs. It’s so natural for us girls. May be it’s in our genes. It’s in everybody’s genes. Though the society is changing now and I can see many guys helping their partners still it’s not welcomed to do so when you have guests or his parents at home. It is mandate for a girl to know cooking and is expected to prepare special delicacies for her in-laws but for him it’s not needed. And there are countless such expectations.
It is a big change, a change in attitude and mindset of individual and society. Let’s be a part of it and truly be companion to our partners. Do “Share the load”.